Watching People Get Hit On

If you attend my fair university there are ample opportunities for the always-amusing past time of people watching. You can watch the kids on the rope. You can watch people watching squirrels (I recommend that one). But my favorite thing to watch is people getting hit on. In class, at the bar, wherever, it’s one of my favorite things to watch.

You can spy a game-spitter from a mile away and you always know when it’s coming. From their opening line I get comfortable and watch where their game will go.

The classic in-class routine has been around since middle school so it’s easy to spot. This play starts with a simple “how far did you get in the book” type of question. However it varies and is easily applied to any assignment. Example: “How’d you do on the last exam?” “Do you understand how to do the homework?” or “What are you going to write your paper on?”

This is an easy one to use and a fun one to watch. To the unsuspecting, uh, hittee, this can just seem like a little pre-class small talk, but the experienced, er, hitter, will use this as an opportunity to develop a class rapport with the person and, if they’ve perfected their craft, will parlay this into some extra-curricular activity.

A more advanced classroom technique is for the ballsier bunch out there as it involves a little more physical contact. I just recently spotted a case of this during a mildly dull English class. My friend pointed it out to me in a note stating “my man two rows up is spitting some major game” and from that point on I was hooked. Our guy had been nudging the girl next to him at intervals and whispering god knows what, but she was biting (not literally, but damn, would that have made for a much more interesting class). In response, she would, with each subsequent nudge, edge her chair closer and closer to his. This is always a sign of interest, because, and look around a classroom if you don’t believe me, normal people try to maintain a safe distance of at least eight to 10 inches between them and the person next to them. Our man upped his game after that and went in for the intellectual score. As soon as he got called on our girl was all eyes on him and when the teacher moved on there was some, arm on arm contact if you will.

Anyone can hit on someone after they’ve had a few drinks in them; loosened inhibitions and all that nonsense. Plus, there is ample opportunity: “can I buy you a drink?” “Do you have a light?” “My friend thinks your friend is cute, what do you say we try to set them up?” But to successfully hit on someone in class is a skill. First, you have the sound barrier with most classes having a no-talking format, unless of course you’re trying to hit on someone in a ballroom dance class or something (which for the record works pretty well). Secondly, you have the challenge of getting to know a person well enough to ask them to hang out with just mere minutes at your disposal.

All in all, I give credit (dare I take the pun and allot extra credit?) to those advanced intellects who can manage to not only pass their classes but score a date for the weekend.